I feel so lost. Like everything that I have done is a waste. It is not hard to see that none of my dreams are going to become true. There is nothing that I can do anymore. I lost. I am lost. I can’t take all of this anymore. I don’t know why I even try anymore. There are always these short periods where I feel like everything is getting better, and that I might be able to turn things around. Now I know that it is too late. There is no point in trying anymore. This life is a waste. It is not going anywhere anytime soon. This I know for a fact. I am a failure and I know it. I am never going to leave the states. I am going to end up staying here stuck in my crappily paying fast food job. I don’t want to live that live. I know the choice is mine, and I don’t have to. I could just stop this all. It would be so easy.
I don’t know why I am even bothering to write this. There is no point to anything I do anymore. I quit. I’m done trying to make a wasted life better. I have never done anything worth while. It has all been a waste. I am an idiot, yea I know it. I am sure there would be less suffering by the ones around me if I just vanished. I can’t take this pain anymore. I am sick of everything getting better for a little then going to straight shit again. I can’t handle this roller coaster anymore. I can’t fight it anymore. I know that for a fact. I don’t know why it took me this long to give up. I should have from the start, then maybe I would not be tormented by this pain. I am a failure. I’m done.
I’m sorry, but I just can’t. Saying my goodbyes. It was fun. Bye.